Booby Trapped and Baby Proofed Read online

  “Get down, Cerrie,” she heard Ethan say.

  Angel hurried back into the nursery. Cerrie had crawled over to Ethan and was standing up, holding onto him. She jumped up and down, nearly knocking Ethan down.

  “Cerrie won’t leave me alone,” Ethan said, trying to get away from the playful infant. “She’s trying to get me.”

  Angel got Cerrie off Ethan. “She’s only trying to play with you.”

  Ethan moved out of his sister’s path and Cerrie tried to crawl back over to him. Ethan continued to run away from her.

  “Don’t be mean to your sister,” Angel told him. “She’s just a baby. You’re a big boy and have to protect her.”

  Ethan seemed to think about what she said. He sat down on the floor and Cerrie took advantage of the situation, crawled into his lap, and sat down.

  “You’re heavy, Cerrie,” Ethan said. Cerrie leaned her head against his chest and hugged him. “My Angel. Cerrie is squeezing me.”

  Angel shook her head. Lord help the girls in his future. Ethan had vain, egotistical, and arrogant male written all over him. She lifted Cerrie off Ethan. “She’s just trying to show you that she loves you.”

  Ethan stood up quickly and straightened out his clothes. Lately, he’d been caring about his appearance. “She slobbered on me.”

  Cerrie wiggled and tried to get back down on the floor.

  “A little slobber won’t kill you. Let’s go check on dinner. Daddy should be home soon.” She walked out of the nursery with Cerrie.

  Ethan followed at a safe distance. They were seated in the den watching television when Harrison finally came home.

  Ethan’s eyes were glued to the screen watching Go, Diego, Go. He didn’t watch SpongeBob as much now. He’d moved on to more advanced shows.

  Cerrie, on the other hand, could care less about television. She was too busy in her playpen having fun. She tossed her toys out of her playpen, trying to hit Ethan with them. Most of the soft, plush toys were now scattered all over the den.

  Harrison stood in the door watching Cerrie before she noticed him. One of the toys finally made it over to Ethan, bouncing off his head.

  “Ouch. My Angel, Cerrie is hitting me.”

  “What are you doing, Sweet Pea?” Harrison asked their daughter, startling her.

  Cerrie finally noticed him. She squealed and bounced up and down in her playpen. “Da-da.”

  Angel smirked. Cerrie hadn’t said mama yet, but she knew her daddy.

  “She’s playing war games,” Angel said. “Ethan is the enemy.” She stood up and began picking the toys off the floor and putting them back inside the playpen.

  “Ooh, look how pretty you look, Sweet Pea,” Harrison said, lifting her up and into his arms. “And you smell so good. Mama must have just given you a bath.”

  Cerrie cuddled up against her father like she was the best baby in the world.

  Angel smirked. Daddy’s little girl was a hellion.

  “Hello, Master Ethan,” Harrison finally said to his son.

  “Hey,” Ethan said, not taking his eyes off the television.

  Harrison shook his head. “At least one of my kids is glad to see me.”

  “Ethan is glad to see you too,” Angel said. “He’s just sulking because Cerrie wet him up when she was in her tub, and she tried to play with him.”

  “And he doesn’t want to play with her?”

  Angel shook her head. “She bullies him. I guess she was cute until the novelty wore off.”

  “Maybe we should have another baby so Cerrie can have someone to play with,” Harrison said loud enough for Ethan to hear.

  “Don’t even jest,” Angel whispered to Harrison.

  “No,” Ethan answered. “Cerrie is my sister.”

  Harrison chuckled. “He’s still so selfish.”

  Angel finally managed to get a kiss from her husband, even though Cerrie tried to push her away.

  Harrison chuckled. “At least she’s not trying to wipe your kisses off.”

  “Rotten daddy’s girl,” Angel said to Cerrie. “At least Ethan still thanks I’m wonderful.”

  Harrison kissed Cerrie’s cheek. “I still think you’re wonderful too. I’ll show you later.” He paused. “What’s for dinner?”

  “Fried trout for us, fish sticks for Ethan, and baby food for Cerrie.”

  “Urg,” Harrison said, teasing Cerrie. “You have to eat baby food.”

  Cerrie giggled and hugged her daddy around the neck.

  “Cerrie is broken,” Ethan said.

  Harrison stopped playing with Cerrie. “What does he mean?”

  “Cerrie’s pee-pee is gone.”

  Angel smirked. “He was in the nursery when I changed Cerrie’s diaper. He noticed that she doesn’t have a penis.”

  “Oh,” Harrison said. “Cerrie is not broken,” Harrison told Ethan. “She’s a girl.”

  “I tried explaining that to him.” Ethan was almost four and as smart as a whip on some things.

  “You’ll learn to appreciate the difference when you get older,” Harrison told him.

  Angel popped him playfully on the arm. “He’s not old enough for that conversation yet.”

  “At least he knows there’s a difference. Maybe Roy won’t seem so fascinating to him now.”

  Angel shook her head. “Haven’t you and Everett been friends since you were toddlers?”

  “Yes, but—” Harrison said.

  “But nothing. It’s no difference. Both of you grew up and married women. Ethan is developing normally for someone his age. Doesn’t he play with all the kids at the dojo?”

  “Yea, but they’re all boys.”

  “Exactly. He’s around boys so he plays with them. He plays with some of the girls at the day care. Connie is still very attached to him. He’ll be in kindergarten next year, and then you’ll see the difference. He’ll probably be dating.” She led him into the kitchen.

  Harrison put Cerrie into the high chair and then put Ethan up on the booster seat.

  Angel dished up their food and put their plates in front of them.

  “This trout looks good,” Harrison said.

  “I thought you might like something different,” Angel said. She covered her fish in ketchup.

  Ethan peeped over at her plate, grabbed a fish stick, and ran it across the ketchup on her plate. He sampled and smiled.

  “You’re lucky I like you, kid,” Angel told him She added a little ketchup to Ethan’s plate.

  Cerrie watched with wide-eyed interest.

  “I think she wants some too,” Harrison said.

  “Ketchup does not go with strained turkey and peas,” Angel said.

  “Do you want her to think you’re showing favoritism?’ Harrison asked with a wicked little smile.

  “She’s eight months old. She doesn’t know what ketchup or favoritism is.”

  Cerrie grunted at her.

  Harrison laughed.

  “Did you teach her that grunt?”

  Harrison nodded. “Yes.”

  Cerrie grunted again to get Angel’s attention.

  Angel got up and poured a little ketchup into Cerrie’s bowl. She walked back to her seat and sat down next to Ethan.

  Harrison fed Cerrie some of the baby food with the ketchup on it.

  Cerrie moved the food around her mouth, smacked, and chuckled.

  “We have two of the strangest kids, ever,” Angel said, going back to her dinner. “And for the record, I do not show favoritism.”

  “Sure you don’t, My Angel,” Harrison said, still feeding Cerrie.

  “Shut up, Dada,” Angel told him.

  “Ooh, I touched a nerve.” He turned to Cerrie. “Can you say mama?”

  Cerrie laughed at him, stuck her finger in her food, and tried to feed it to him.

  Harrison moved back. “Say mama, Cerrie.”

  Cerrie laughed at him. “Dada.”

  “Cerrie is broken,” Ethan said, staring at his sister and Harrison.

 
“Yes, she is,” Angel agreed with him.

  Cerrie shook her hand and sent food over toward Angel and Ethan.

  “Don’t think I’ll forget this, young lady, when you want your first bra or a pair of high heels,” Angel said, wiping the baby food off the table.

  Harrison chuckled. “You plan to hold a grudge against her that long?”

  “Yes,” Angel said. “I am her mother. She can at least acknowledge it.”

  Cerrie just looked at her curiously.

  “That’s okay, Sweet Pea. Daddy will buy you your first bra and tampons.”

  Angel laughed. “Yeah, sure. You can keep the spoiled princess. I’ll stick with attitude boy. At least I know where his loyalties lie. I fall right behind him, Bunny, Roy, and SpongeBob.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to try for another one?” Harrison asked, suddenly turning serious.

  Angel blushed. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “I think I can work out another boy.”

  “No,” Ethan said to Harrison as if he understood the conversation. “I’m the big boy.”

  His statement stunned Harrison. “I think it’s time to have his I. Q. tested again. I do believe he understood what I just told you.”

  “Well, he did walk in on us getting busy a couple of times when he was younger.”

  Cerrie tossed more of her food across the table at Ethan, narrowly missing him.

  “You better get that one checked too,” Angel told Harrison.

  “Sweet Pea is just having fun,” Harrison said in his daughter’s defense. “She’s going through her pitching stage. Maybe she’ll be the first female major league pitcher.”

  Angel didn’t know much about baseball, but she believed there was already a woman pitching in some league. “What about the Marine Corps? I thought she was going to be a Marine.”

  “Baseball pays better,” Harrison said.

  Angel smirked. Harrison was enjoying fatherhood.

  ****

  Harrison closed the storybook he’d read to Ethan, and looked over at the sleeping child. What makes you tick, Ethan? He wished he could understand what his son thought. They had never really been close, but he wanted more than anything for Ethan to love him unconditionally the way Cerrie did.

  He could see a lot of Olivia in the child. Olivia had been the quiet, studious type, and he supposed Ethan was taking after his mother. He thought they would bond more at karate practice. Ethan was really good at it, but he spent more time with the other kids than paying attention to him. Maybe it was time to do some father/son things with him. Ethan would be turning four soon and, other than a few obvious things, he knew nothing about his child.

  Harrison quietly left the room and then went in to peep in on Cerrie. She was fast asleep, hugging her terrycloth doll, Sweet Pea, Jr.

  Harrison left the nursery and walked into his bedroom. Angel had already showered and was in bed watching television. He walked into the bathroom, showered, and then joined his wife on the bed. “Do you think Ethan likes me?”

  Angel lifted the remote control and turned the volume down on the program she was watching. “Why would you ask something like that? Of course he likes you.”

  Harrison sighed. “I don’t think so.”

  “Why? Because he doesn’t make big, dreamy eyes at you like Cerrie does?”

  “Yes.”

  Angel chuckled. “If he did, you’d probably want to have him psychoanalyzed.”

  “Then why doesn’t he want to spend time with me?”

  “You two do karate together.”

  “We’re not alone during that time. We’re surrounded by other kids.”

  “You can try taking him somewhere without me and Cerrie. Or, you can find something the two of you have in common.”

  Harrison thought about it. “Other than adoring you, I don’t think we have anything in common.”

  “He likes to draw,” Angel told him. “And he’s really very good at it. Why don’t you sit down and draw with him?”

  “That might work. He used to be a pretty good artist when he was younger.”

  “He also likes television. The two of you used to watch sports and the news together.”

  “I remember that,” Harrison said. “It was before Cerrie was born.”

  “Yes,” Angel said. “Now you see the pattern. Maybe Ethan thinks you love Cerrie more than you love him.”

  “But that’s nonsense,” Harrison said.

  “Not to a three-year-old.”

  He sighed. “Maybe we need to put having another son on hold until I understand this one.”

  “Maybe we should,” Angel said. “Who knows, with our luck, we’d get a baby with a surly/broken personality.”

  “Cerrie isn’t broken,” Harrison said with a smile. “She’s just lively.”

  Angel chuckled. “Then you can give her a bath tomorrow. Personally, I’m tired of getting wet.”

  “I used to bathe her when she was a baby. How hard can it be?”

  ****

  “Why are there pots all over the kitchen?” Angel asked Harrison when she came in from the grocery store.

  Harrison sat in a chair at the kitchen table. He pointed to the little girl on the floor. “If you think this looks bad, you should see her room. Apparently, it was a good day for exploring.”

  He looked tired, but Cerrie appeared full of energy. She only attended day care about three times a week now because her father wanted to spend time with his daughter.

  Ethan peeped from behind her. “You need to put Cerrie in time out.”

  Harrison looked at him. “You have a haircut.”

  Ethan touched his hair. “My Angel took me to the barber.”

  Harrison looked at her.

  “Roy got a new do.”

  “Oh,” Harrison said. “If I knew it was that easy, I would have taken Roy with us a couple of years ago.”

  “I think they’re vying for the attention of a four-year-old girl who just started at the daycare. Her name is Robin.”

  Cerrie picked that time to serenade them with a wooden spoon and a pot.

  “How did she get that spoon?” Angel asked.

  Cerrie dropped the spoon, rose, and toddled over to Ethan to examine him.

  “Did I neglect to tell you that she’s walking?” Harrison asked.

  “E,” Cerrie said to Ethan. She grabbed onto his clothes.

  “What, Cerrie?” Ethan asked. His vocabulary was now near perfect for a four-year-old.

  “How long has she been walking?” Angel asked, walking further into the kitchen. She stepped around pots to put the bag of groceries on the table.

  “About a week,” Harrison said. “She’s also climbing. I think it’s time for her to go back to the day care full time.”

  “Awe, why?” Angel asked with a smirk. “I thought you liked being a house-parent.” She began unpacking the groceries.

  “She has too much energy,” Harrison whined. “She gets into and out of everything, and she’s loud.”

  Angel continued to smirk. She’d known this day would come.

  “Cerrie is broken,” Ethan said as he moved away from his sister. He began picking up the pots and started placing them back under the cabinet. “You need to put her in time out.”

  Angel looked down at Ethan. He had matured so much, and he looked so cute with his big boy haircut. Now she could see those big blue eyes. Heck, he hadn’t even put up a fuss when the barber washed his hair.

  Harrison rose from the chair. “Hey, sport. Do you want to go to a soccer game with me tomorrow?”

  Ethan nodded excitedly. For some reason, soccer was now his thing.

  Angel heard a crash and looked around quickly. Cerrie had knocked down the baby gate and attempted to unlock the door. She stood on her tip toes and was tall enough to reach the latch. “Get her,” Angel said to Harrison. “She’s headed outside.”

  Harrison hurried over to the patio and grabbed his escape artist daughter. “It’s too dark for you to
go outside and play in the sandbox,” he told Cerrie.

  Cerrie cried and tried to get out of his arms.

  “I’m going to have to find something stronger than a baby gate to keep her inside.” He put Cerrie in her high chair. “I swear, I don’t know where she gets all her energy from.”

  Cerrie grunted at him.

  “Yeah, I wonder,” Angel said sarcastically.

  “Mama,” Cerrie said, holding her arms in the air for Angel to free her from the high chair.

  “Don’t suck up to me now, daddy’s girl.” Cerrie had also started referring to her as Mama recently. It surprised the hell out of her because Cerrie usually grunted at her to get her attention.

  Cerrie moved around, and somehow maneuvered her body into a standing position. Harrison caught her just as she tried to jump out of the high chair. He looked at Angel for some help.

  Angel grunted at him. “I think they take after your side of the family.”

  Ethan tugged at her shirt.

  Angel looked down.

  “Mama, can I have a carrot.”

  Angel felt elated. “He just called me Mama.”

  “He sure did,” Harrison said, trying to move his nose from Cerrie, who was trying to squeeze it.

  “Sure, baby,” Angel said. She washed one of the raw ones she’d just taken out the grocery bag and handed it to him.

  “Is that for Bunny?” Harrison asked.

  Ethan looked at him like he was crazy. “Of course not. Bunny is a toy.” He went out of the kitchen, probably headed to the den to watch the news.

  “I feel so old,” Harrison said, handing Cerrie to her.

  Angel stopped unpacking the groceries and took Cerrie.

  Harrison started picking up the remainder of the pots and pans. “I can’t believe that Ethan is about to start kindergarten.”

  “Yeah, before we know it girls will be ringing the phone off the hook, and he’ll be going off to the beach with his friends.”

  “Mama,” Cerrie said, hugging her and kissing her on the cheek.

  She wasn’t falling for the con. Cerrie wanted to get down so she could get into more devilment, or perhaps go into the den to bother Ethan. “Did you give Cerrie her bath?”

  “No,” Harrison said. “I decided to leave that experience to you since you used to be a lifeguard.”